Tuesday, December 3, 2013

And Now the Holidays Are Here

Hey. I've learned an important life lesson here recently, so listen up! There is nothing, and I mean nothing like spending 6 weeks in and out of doctors' offices, medical clinics, and hospitals to make you feel like a wretched, horrible, incompetent excuse for a mother.

I speak from experience.

I really love dislike hate sitting in that tiny little room on a hard chair, that you KNOW is covered in germs and upon which some kid probably puked at some point, while your under-sized, malnourished child sits on butcher paper in an exam gown. The best part is when the doctor asks you questions, to which you can only stare blankly because you have no idea what the answer is. I mean, YOU'RE the doctor. Why do you think we're here? If I could answer these questions myself, I would be down at Menchie's having frozen yogurt. 

What are his bowel habits? (Side note: doctors love to talk about poop).
How would I know? I haven't looked at his poop since I potty trained this kid.

Does he use his inhalers every day?
He needs inhalers? And he needs more than one?

Did you know he has extreme tenderness at all the insertion points of his tendons and ligaments?
Actually, I did know that, thanks to our AT-HOME MRI scanner.

He needs to eat more.

As of today, we have made it almost an entire week without any illness whatsoever from the 10-year-old. THIS is a major milestone, because it's been about two months since he first got sick. The list of ailments, -itises, and -osises is long. And he has a mild case of asthma. Who knew? Certainly not THIS mother.

The good news is, after every medical visit, we walked away with a stack of papers telling us how to whip this kid back into shape. So, you know, I finally have an owner's manual.

Beyond spending practically every minute either taking care of a sick child, juggling doctor's appointments, or fighting strep throat myself, I have also had clients to juggle, articles to write, a conference to plan, the rest of my family to take care of, and a house to maintain; most of which happened while my husband was out of town. Doesn't that remind you of the line from The Princess Bride? "I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to prepare for, my wife to murder, and Gilder to blame for it. I'm swamped."

And then Count Rueger says, "Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."

I love that movie. Needless to say, I'm swamped. There is something to be said for stress. At the beginning of November, I bought tickets to take my daughter to a performance of The Forgotten Carols. I remembered that fact the morning after we were supposed to go. So yes, my batteries are drained. So if you haven't heard from me in a while, it's because I'm recharging. The holidays are here and I have to be want to be pleasant. So I'm going to get some rest now, because if I I haven't got my health, I haven't got anything.

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