And Now the Holidays Are Here

Hey. I've learned an important life lesson here recently, so listen up! There is nothing, and I mean nothing like spending 6 weeks in and out of doctors' offices, medical clinics, and hospitals to make you feel like a wretched, horrible, incompetent excuse for a mother.

I speak from experience.

I really love dislike hate sitting in that tiny little room on a hard chair, that you KNOW is covered in germs and upon which some kid probably puked at some point, while your under-sized, malnourished child sits on butcher paper in an exam gown. The best part is when the doctor asks you questions, to which you can only stare blankly because you have no idea what the answer is. I mean, YOU'RE the doctor. Why do you think we're here? If I could answer these questions myself, I would be down at Menchie's having frozen yogurt. 

What are his bowel habits? (Side note: doctors love to talk about poop).
How would I know? I haven't looked at his poop since I potty trained this kid.

Does he use his inhalers every day?
He needs inhalers? And he needs more than one?

Did you know he has extreme tenderness at all the insertion points of his tendons and ligaments?
Actually, I did know that, thanks to our AT-HOME MRI scanner.

He needs to eat more.
Duh.

As of today, we have made it almost an entire week without any illness whatsoever from the 10-year-old. THIS is a major milestone, because it's been about two months since he first got sick. The list of ailments, -itises, and -osises is long. And he has a mild case of asthma. Who knew? Certainly not THIS mother.

The good news is, after every medical visit, we walked away with a stack of papers telling us how to whip this kid back into shape. So, you know, I finally have an owner's manual.

Beyond spending practically every minute either taking care of a sick child, juggling doctor's appointments, or fighting strep throat myself, I have also had clients to juggle, articles to write, a conference to plan, the rest of my family to take care of, and a house to maintain; most of which happened while my husband was out of town. Doesn't that remind you of the line from The Princess Bride? "I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to prepare for, my wife to murder, and Gilder to blame for it. I'm swamped."

And then Count Rueger says, "Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."

I love that movie. Needless to say, I'm swamped. There is something to be said for stress. At the beginning of November, I bought tickets to take my daughter to a performance of The Forgotten Carols. I remembered that fact the morning after we were supposed to go. So yes, my batteries are drained. So if you haven't heard from me in a while, it's because I'm recharging. The holidays are here and I have to be want to be pleasant. So I'm going to get some rest now, because if I I haven't got my health, I haven't got anything.

Status Update

Have you noticed in the status bar on Facebook, it asks you some kind of question, like "What's on your mind today?" or "How are you doing?" I'm going to go ahead and answer that today.

I am freaking out, man!

Yeah. Just like that. There's a lot of good stuff happening, but it is also really stressful. The bank denied our loan one week before we were supposed to close on our new house. And it wasn't for any other reason than we were buying the house on a flip. We were told if we would bring them another $45,000, they would approve our loan. Um, I'm sure most people have an extra fifty large just sitting around, but we're not one of them. And that's the whole reason for going to the bank in the first place, right? Fortunately, I called my friend at City 1st Mortgage, and she had me a new loan the very next day. So we're back on track.

Which means that there is packing and sorting and prepping for a garage sale. There are paint colors to pick, and did you know that gray is an impossible color to choose? Fifty Shades of Gray? I don't think so. I bet I looked at 100 shades before I found one that didn't look purple or brown or blue or beige.

And did I mention the cleaning? The new house has been sitting empty for a year, and has accumulated a year's worth of dust and dead flies. Gross, I know. And I'm a firm believer in leaving the old house cleaner than you found it, so there's that.

In the meantime, there are clients who need blog posts and facebook updates and newsletters. And there are children who need dinner. Why do they always need to eat? And they want clean clothes, too.

And then. THEN! There's the big Amazon contest and we are 11 days away from finding out if I am a semi-finalist. Who can concentrate on ANYTHING when I am 11 days away from finding out if I am a semi-finalist?!?!? What? We're buying a house and moving? I had no idea, because I am WAITING TO SEE IF I AM A SEMI-FINALIST!!!!

People, I haven't done my hair once this week! Thank goodness for ball caps and ponytail holders.

To end, I will leave you with a little tip: if you're looking to invest in some stock, consider peanut M&Ms and cherry Coke. I have a feeling there is going to be a surge in demand.

I Do Solemnly Swear

Thing are off balance. Out of whack. Off kilter. I finally realized that today when after work, I went to the grocery store to pick up some corn syrup for a children's church activity for which I was responsible. The bottle behind it fell from its perch on the top shelf and landed on the floor. I dutifully bent down to pick it up while talking on the phone to someone who was helping me with said activity. As we were chatting, I didn't notice the gaping hole from which the sticky goo was gushing -- all over my satin blouse, fleece-lined coat, and knit scarf. Not to mention my hand, the shopping cart, and its contents. Unfortunately, the wet wipes aisle was at the opposite end of the store.

I didn't have time to go home and change before dashing off to another appointment. Enroute to said appointment, lunch was a chicken leg from the rotisserie chicken I bought for dinner. Fortunately I kept the wet wipes with me on the front seat. Unfortunately I went to the appointment looking like someone had blown their nose on me. Then I came home for twenty minutes before dashing off to the church activity, where there were, of course, complaints from parents for one thing or another.

I have about a bajillion things to do this week before flying with my kids to Texas for my brother's wedding. It's time to find the balance. Get things back into whack. On kilter. From this moment on, I do solemnly swear to JUST SAY NO. So please don't ask. Because I hate to say no. But I have to. For my own sanity. I will take care of those things that need to be done and I will let go of the things I cannot control. I will do it with a smile and I will bring my blood presssure below the boiling point. I might even eat a piece of fruit... if it's engulfed in chocolate.