Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I've been thinking lately. Scary, I know. But sometimes, I am really embarrassed for my gender. There's a woman I know who recently suffered a miscarriage. I don't think you can fully understand the scope of feelings you go through when such a thing happens. There's grief and mourning. Yes, grief and mourning and loss for someone you never even got to say hello to. And yet they were a part of you. Then there's anger. Oh, the anger. Don't forget confusion. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

So back to my friend. There was a heartbeat. And then there wasn't. And now she's mourning. And what do I hear out there in universe? "Why on earth would she have another kid?" "She only got pregnant to hang on to her husband."

Upon my third miscarriage, I actually had someone suggest to me that perhaps God was punishing me for some misdeed from my past, and that maybe if I repented, the problem would be solved. (As if that's the way God does things). Thanks for the compassion, right?

WHY do we do this to each other? Why are we mean? Why do we gossip? Let's help each other. Let's build each other up. Let's take each other a pot of soup and say, "I'm sorry you're suffering. How can I help?" Let's keep our hurtful, negative comments to ourselves. Let's spread supportive words of kindness like wildfire. Let's make only one assumption about anyone we ever know or meet: that they are doing their best. Can you imagine the burdens you will lighten if you did that? Including your own?

1 comment:

  1. I am shocked that people would be so mean as to make those comments! I remember hearing in a General Conference a while back that we should treat everybody as if they were dealing with a terrible burden, because most of the time, that is the case! Anyway, I'm sorry for all women that have had to suffer miscarriage and hope they never feel it was in any way their fault!