Cindy 4.2

Yes, it's that time when I mark another completed orbit around the sun. We celebrated a couple of weeks ago by going to a concert in Deer Valley. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy put on a fun show. I mean, who doesn't love good, trumpet-heavy swing music?

Anyway, as my birthday approaches, here's what I've been thinking about lately:

K I N D N E S S

We need more of it. We need to give people the benefit of the doubt. If we want kindness shown to us, we must first show it ourselves. The Golden Rule and all that jazz.

Also, be kind to yourself. Ease up on the negative self-talk. 

I don't really know where this blog post is going, except to say that the older I get, the greater my appreciation for kindness becomes. My desire to be kind grows stronger.

All you need is kindness.
And maybe a Ford Mustang. (Another birthday, perhaps?)

Life Goes On

I am intrigued by disasters. Like a magnet, I am especially drawn to airplanes and earthquakes. As a kid I read up on The Great San Francisco Earthquake like it was going out of style. And I just couldn't get enough of Amelia Earhart. It's the science of it all, I think.

So as you can imagine, I have been riveted by anything coming from Japan. And as usual, at first it was the science of it all. Facts like it sped up the Earth's rotation, shifted the axis, and moved the entire island of Japan several feet to the east... that's like information heaven for a nerd like me.

Then the human toll started to sink in.

My husband and I went to Japan several years ago. It's a beautiful place. We rode the bullet trains and saw the incredible countryside, dotted by Buddhist temples, framed by cherry blossoms. Mount Fuji is even bigger in person. Tokyo is a sea of humanity. I don't even know how to describe what the street looked like when the rush hour trains emptied out. I know I've never seen more people in one place at one time.

Hiroshima is a place that brings you to your knees as you take in what happened there in 1946.

And the food. Oh, the food. I brought home some cookbooks, but have yet to perfectly replicate anything as good as it was over there. But of course, the best thing about the trip was the people. The people were gracious and funny. And kind. And warm. We sang karaoke with our friends and shared a meal that a Sumo wrestler would eat on his own. We laughed until I thought my face would freeze that way. And except for the whole kidnapping thing, I would have brought home a couple of armfuls of beautiful Japanese children.

So maybe what happened on Friday has a little bit of personal meaning for me.

And that got me thinking. Horrible, terrible things happen all over the world. I have no control over that, which is a very hopeless feeling. Even right now, our family is dealing with a Grandma in hospice, whose days on this Earth are drawing to a close. But life goes on. Yes, I can send my widow's mite to the relief effort. I can pray. I can get my 72-hour kits together so that I'm prepared if a disaster strikes here. But even more importantly, I can do good, right here in my little corner of the globe. Just like a Tsunami, goodness spreads. Today I made a head wreath for my very confident daughter, who needs it for her upcoming pageant. Recently I have marveled at her ability to speak words of comfort to her dying great-grandmother; to play little songs for her on the piano. Today I also helped my son with his science fair project. We built a salt water alarm. He said, "Hey Mom, if salt water is ocean water, then this could work to warn people when a Tsunami is coming, right?"

Who knows what good that might lead to in a few years? I can't wait to find out.

*Sigh*

I've been thinking lately. Scary, I know. But sometimes, I am really embarrassed for my gender. There's a woman I know who recently suffered a miscarriage. I don't think you can fully understand the scope of feelings you go through when such a thing happens. There's grief and mourning. Yes, grief and mourning and loss for someone you never even got to say hello to. And yet they were a part of you. Then there's anger. Oh, the anger. Don't forget confusion. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

So back to my friend. There was a heartbeat. And then there wasn't. And now she's mourning. And what do I hear out there in universe? "Why on earth would she have another kid?" "She only got pregnant to hang on to her husband."

Upon my third miscarriage, I actually had someone suggest to me that perhaps God was punishing me for some misdeed from my past, and that maybe if I repented, the problem would be solved. (As if that's the way God does things). Thanks for the compassion, right?

WHY do we do this to each other? Why are we mean? Why do we gossip? Let's help each other. Let's build each other up. Let's take each other a pot of soup and say, "I'm sorry you're suffering. How can I help?" Let's keep our hurtful, negative comments to ourselves. Let's spread supportive words of kindness like wildfire. Let's make only one assumption about anyone we ever know or meet: that they are doing their best. Can you imagine the burdens you will lighten if you did that? Including your own?

Cheerleader In My Pocket

There's this lady at church. I don't know her all that well, but I love her. She's probably 15 or so years older than I am. Whenever I run into her, she has nothing but the kindest, sweetest things to say to me.

Yesterday, as I was rushing down the hall to find a book I needed, she appeared from around the corner.

"Hi Kaylma," I said.
"Oh look at your pretty hair. It grows so fast! This length looks so good on you because you're tall and thin. And I know because I'm a hairdresser!"

She has no idea that I'm having a bad hair year or that I think I'm a little pudgy in the middle. Or that my four siblings all tower over me by nearly a foot. She's simply my cheerleader. And who doesn't need one of those?

So go out and be somebody's cheerleader. See nothing but the best in them. Make only one assumption about them: that they are doing their best. Go! Cheer! Win!