All I Want for Christmas

I want to start out this post by giving a little shout-out to my nephew, Tyler Swan, whose high school football team will be playing for the Utah 5A State Football Championship next week. Go Diggers! (Yes, the students at Jordan High are known as The Beetdiggers, which, I know, sounds like a school Dwight Schrute would attend).

With the NFL in full swing and high school football the big talk in our family these days, I've already decided on what I want for Christmas this year.

Can you guess what it is?

No, it's not season tickets.

And it's not a jersey representing my favorite team.

It's not even a football autographed by my favorite player.

I want...

...and I promise this is good...

a yellow penalty flag!

You've all seen it. Somebody grabs somebody else's face mask and the referee blows the whistle and tosses a yellow penalty flag onto the field. All the players stop and the ref tells them what they did wrong, then penalizes the offending team with loss of yards.

Can you imagine the real-world applications for my very own yellow penalty flag? I mean, how perfect is that? When my kids come in from school and leave a trail of backpacks, shoes, coats, papers, and legos from the door to the kitchen, I can toss my flag and yell, "Penalty! Cluttering! Loss of dessert!"

What about when someone cuts me off in traffic? "Penalty! False start! Loss of 3 car lengths!"

And I'm all about maintaining my personal space. "Penalty! Personal Foul! 10 yards!" 

Oh, I'm getting giddy with anticipation, just thinking about all the uses for my yellow penalty flag. There is no arguing with a yellow penalty flag. You MUST obey the yellow penalty flag.

There is no stopping me with a yellow penalty flag.

I see no flaws in this plan.

Murphy Christmas

A Brief Family History:

Historically, we tend to have bad luck when it comes to Christmas vacation. That bad luck typically comes in the form of illness. There was the time that one kid had croup, another kid had pneumonia, and the parents both had the flu. At the same time. We've driven in blizzards, had Christmas trees that refused to remain upright, and even remembered the presents only after the four-hour road trip to Grandma's house. Chances are, if my husband schedules the time off for Christmas, something would go wrong.

This year, we were bound and determined to make it a memorable one. Hubby scheduled the time off months ago. We schemed and plotted and planned to surprise our kids with a trip to Disneyland. We had our hotel. We had our road trip snacks, movies, and games. I secretly packed their clothes. We planned to leave Tuesday afternoon. And then came the Pineapple Express. I'm sure you've heard about it. Southern California is drenched, to put it mildly. Southern Utah is lined with sandbags. Looking at satellite imagery, the storm was directly over the exact route we were going to take. In addition to that, we are buried under SEVERAL feet of snow. There was no way we could safely take our kids on what under the best conditions, would be a 13-hour road trip.

HOWEVER, being the cheerful optimists that we are, we quickly came up with Plan B. We booked a hotel room in downtown Salt Lake City for tonight, where we could swim, eat at a fancy-schmancy restaurant, and take in the beautiful Christmas sights. Yesterday, we even managed to sneak in a trip to Santa's workshop, where we found some pretty awesome Christmas presents. You see, Disneyland WAS THE PRESENT, so we had nothing but a few stocking stuffers. Upon returning from our stealthy shopping spree, we walked into a freezing cold house. The Pineapple Express had struck again, this time by taking out both our furnaces. AT THE SAME TIME. So I called a guy, who said it was happening all over the valley and said he'd never seen anything like it. He was currently working on three houses in Park City. At the same time. He said he would try to get to us sometime during the evening, but if not, he would come first thing in the morning. He's here now. And I'm typing this, at the same time. Fortunately we had a warm place to sleep last night, in the form of my in-laws' vacation home, which is conveniently located 5 minutes away.

Unfortunately, this brings me to the next wrench in the Christmas gears: sickness. Currently, it seems that everything on my inside wants to be on my outside. So the hotel is canceled. The hoity-toity dinner is not an option. City sidewalks and silver bells? I think not.

I tell you this not for sympathy; but for reference. Sometime next summer, when I start dreaming of Christmas Future, and those dang sugar plums start to dance, please, please remind me about this very moment.

Christmas in Bethlehem

Last night our friends Chuck and Rachelle invited us over for dinner and game night. Delicious and fun, for sure. Stuck to their refrigerator was something that looked like a dead sea scroll. It was actually an invitation to their ward Christmas party (ward = congregation). Full of type-o's, it was written in biblical fashion. Prospective attendees were told that they must dress in ancient Bethlehem-type garb or be turned away. Really. I'm not kidding. Apparently, if you don't show up in your desert sandals in Alpine, Utah in winter, then obviously you're a Scrooge who doesn't understand the true meaning of Christmas.

Chuck and Rachelle would absolutely be invited to my Halloween gala, but I fully realize that Chuck would come in his regular clothes. And I'm okay with that. Chuck was as annoyed with having to show up at his Christmas party in his bathrobe as he was at being turned away for NOT wearing his bathrobe.

In typical Chuck fashion, he was trying to think of a "proper" outfit to wear to the party. His first thought was Bethlehem Jedi. Naturally, the rest of the evening was peppered with suggestions:

Bethlehem Avatar
Bethlehem rock star (Gene Simmons to be more precise)
Bethlehem plumber (with a loin cloth worn a little too low)

And the list goes on. Please post your suggestions here and I will pass them along to Chuck, an artist/pharmacist. If your suggestion is picked, I'm sure he'll be happy to paint your face in the style of KISS/Gene Simmons.

The Importance of Staying Fit

Yesterday, I was sitting on the couch, folding laundry. My son (who will be 7 tomorrow) emptied the contents of his Transformers backpack and pulled out this paper nativity scene. He carefully arranged them on the coffee table in this position, looked at me with all seriousness and said, "Mary and Joseph are doing push-ups while Baby Jesus watches." And he walked away.

A Quiet Moment

This is a blurry picture of my Nativity set that I took with my cell phone. It's not the prettiest one; I've had it for a long time. The last few years, I have only put out these three figures and left everything else in the box.

I like to think about that quiet moment this little family must have had before all havoc broke loose. Before the shepherds showed up with the animals or the wise men with their camels; not to mention some kid out there banging his drum. I imagine I wouldn't mind the hosts of Heaven singing right on my rooftop; but there had to be this quiet, perfect moment when it was just the three of them. Silent. Perfect. Joyous.

It makes me think about the fact that they were a family first, and then He became the Savior of the world.

Maybe it reminds me to take a moment to just BE with my family. We're often scurrying to do homework or to get dinner done; to finish our chores or make it to piano lessons on time. It's easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of being a young family. But to take the time to have those "be still" moments; to enjoy a cozy moment together - those are the ones we treasure.

My wish this Christmas if for each of us to find those still and quiet moments.

Merry Christmas!

Today is December 2nd, so I thought I'd better get this out in the open right now. I am a Christian and I celebrate Christmas. I have a sparkly, pretty Christmas tree in my living room. There is a nativity set sitting on my entrance table. My family and I are spending the month reading accounts of Jesus Christ's birth from the scriptures. I will give my children Christmas presents on the morning of the 25th. I will wish various people throughout the month a Merry Christmas. If you happen to be one of those people, but you don't celebrate Christmas, I won't hold that against you. I won't apologize for it either, but please don't hold it against me because I celebrate it. I am simply giving you greeting of warmth, love, and general good cheer.

If a Jewish friend wants to wish me a Happy Hannukah, that's fine with me. I promise not to be offended. I will be glad for the kindness. That goes for anybody else who celebrates anything at this time of year. What a nice way of sharing a little bit of yourself with me!

I write about this today because a co-worker of mine was recently berated by a parent whose daughter came home with a paper turkey. He yelled at my friend, telling her in no uncertain terms that he did not want his daughter involved in any type of activity that had anything to do with any holidays. Period. This teacher never received so much as a note on a napkin informing her of this request. We've already celebrated Halloween and the parent never said "Boo." When this parent came in with his tongue lashing, he didn't cite any type of religious reasons or any other reason, for that matter. Thanksgiving is an American holiday, by the way; not a religious one. His child attends an American public school. What does he expect?

Let me give you non-teachers a bit of advice: when an irrational parent comes in and yells at and berates a teacher, all it gets you is disrespected and talked about behind your back amongst all the other teachers. And then, as your child moves up through the grades, nobody wants her because they don't want to deal with YOU.

Of course we teachers are happy to accommodate and will respect requests for students to not participate in certain activities for whatever reason. Many years ago I had a student whose family practiced a religion that did not allow for the celebration of parties, including holidays and birthdays. They spoke to me about it in a calm and kind manner on the first day of school; and you know what? We parted at the end of the year with genuine feelings of kindness and mutual respect. That student has to be in his early twenties now and I can imagine that he is a very successful and well-rounded young man.

I realize I live in a part of the country (Utah) where most people predominantly belong to one religion. But I have a grandmother who is a Muslim. She sends me Christmas cards. I have relatives who don't believe in any type of higher power at all. They send me Christmas cards. I have relatives who are gay, who are living with HIV, who are black, white, Indonesian, Dutch, American, Catholic... you name it. They've all got a branch on my family tree. And the fruit is beautiful.

So this December, let me share a little bit of myself with you.

Merry Christmas, people!