On a Darker Note

I spent the weekend at Solstice Writing Retreat, which is always a good thing. I love being around other writers - they're my tribe.

Louise Plummer was there, who quickly became one of my favorite people in all the world when I met her three years ago. She told a story about giving someone dark chocolate fortune cookies, along with, of course, dark fortunes.

She and her husband Tom, along with their son, came up with the list, which included such gems as:

• Toe fungus next Wednesday
• Don't bother counting your lucky stars
• Dead man walking

We, of course, could not contain our laughter.

As a writer, I spend lots of time inside my own head. Naturally, the last few days have found me wandering into dark fortune territory.

• Those stars you're seeing? Cataracts.
• Say goodbye to your toaster this week.
• There is a boulder in your future.
• Lucky numbers? I don't think so.
• I'd get that mole checked if I were you
• You're going to regret eating that fortune cookie
• Dinner: what goes down will come up
• Stay home Monday. And Tuesday. In fact, don't go out at all next week.

Try it. You'll be hooked. 

P.S. My son has long held on to the best fortune he ever got from a cookie (dark or otherwise):

A lit candle frightens no monkeys.

My Inner Eight-Year-Old

Dan and I recently returned from a Mediterranean cruise with the Larsens and the Emerys. It was magical, you guys; amazing sites, perfect weather, delicious European food, and funny, funny friends.

Remember getting the Weekly Reader at school? That was always one of my favorite days -- it was right up there with Tostada Day in the cafeteria. I learned all kinds of cool stuff in the Weekly Reader. When I was in third grade, I read about the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I loved the picture of its many arches. I loved that it leaned. The article said that one day, the tower would fall. I decided right then and there that I needed to see it before it came crumbling down. Fortunately, I recently learned that the ground beneath the tower had been reinforced, so that it would continue to lean for generations of third graders yet to come.

Last Thursday, on our way back to the ship from Florence, our guide detoured us over to Pisa. You'll be happy to know the tower is located around the corner from Ikea, if you're ever in the area.

The adult me took a bunch of pictures:

The eight-year-old me ran up and touched the wall. Then she bought this statue for 2 Euros.

It Only Took Nine Years

Several years ago, I was on one of those crazy, nighttime grocery store trips with my two girlfriends, Liz and Jen. Because, you know, sometimes that's the most fun a mom gets to have. Liz and Jen are two of the funniest people I know.

So anyway, we're walking down the spice aisle at H.E.B. when Jen notices something. It's a small bottle of cinnamon and sugar mixed together, for some inordinate price of $3.29 or something like that. She picks it up, holds it in my face and says (with her loud Texas accent): "Seriously, HOW lazy is America?!?"

Maybe you had to be there, because it was all in the delivery. I promise, it was very funny -- and I don't think it had anything to do with the fact that it was 10:00 at night and we were using the grocery store for entertainment.

Fast forward to yesterday. My hubby and I are walking through Costco (at the perfectly acceptable hour of 4:00 p.m.). After placing a package of uncooked tortillas in my cart, I looked up and beheld something to finally add to Jen's "Lazy List" along with the pre-mixed cinnamon sugar:

Need I say more?

Bearing Down in Salt Lake City

A couple of years ago when it was announced that the University of Utah would be joining the PAC 12, I jumped for joy. But only because it meant that I would get to go to an occasional basketball game when the University of Arizona was in town. Well, last night, my beloved Wildcats blew into town and pounded the Utes. Soundly.

I can be Ute fan. And generally, they're the team we cheer for in our house. Except when they're playing Arizona. But then we have this boy. And he is a RABID Utah fan. Even when they play Arizona. I tried explaining to him that when it comes to basketball, you ALWAYS cheer for Arizona; otherwise you're going to be disappointed. He wasn't buying it.

The boy in his Ute gear, and me, in the WINNING team's gear.

Dominating at the freethrow line.

Feeling a bit dejected.

The final score. And THAT'S how you Bear Down.

Ahh...

Today was one of those perfect summer days. You know, the kind of care-free day that makes you wish summer would last just a little bit longer? I got up and went for a bike ride, which turned into a walk after my rear tire went flat; but I got to cross a river and walk amongst bright yellow sunflowers, so no complaints there. After I made it back home, my neighbor knocked on the door, very excited to show my kids the very fat and very orange caterpillar she had found in her yard. My kids were fascinated by its walrus-shaped face. My daughter and I then made apricot fruit leather. Remember that stuff? You'd peel it from the cellophane and mold it to the roof of your mouth... you know you did. When I was a kid, I ate it until I got sick. It's so much better than the food-colored corn syrup stuff that they sell now. Once the fruit leather was leathering up in the oven, we packed a picnic and headed for the park, where we met up with friends. We attempted to fly kites, emphasis on attempted. And then in one of those fabulous, spontaneous, impromptu moments, we swapped kids. Her son came home with me and my son; my daughter went home with her and her daughters.

Can I just say, I very well had the two cutest boys in the galaxy spend the afternoon at my house? They quoted Phineas and Ferb, sang me the Perry the Platypus song, played with Legos and the Wii. They swam and I read a book. They raced toy boats down the river in our back yard. The phrase of the day: "We have soooo much in common!" The phrase frozen in time also comes to mind, because there's nothing more darling than a 7-year-old with a fresh haircut and his friend singing the Perry the Platypus song in the back seat of a 2001 Chevy Tahoe.

After a dinner of grilled drumsticks and green beans, our two families met back up at our favorite ice cream shop. If I haven't mentioned this place before (Corner Sweet Treats) then I apologize. They have no less than a dozen homemade flavors on hand and you can get a giant, four-scoop, super sundae for $5.30, emphasis on giant. The scoops are the size of softballs! If you're ever in town, be sure to try the lemon custard with hot fudge; it's divine. So we hung out, we chatted, we laughed, and the kids raced each other up and down the sidewalk.

The nights here are already starting to cool off; a few renegade leaves are already turning yellow, and school starts exactly two weeks from today. But today? Today was a perfect summer day.

A Little Blast From the Past

So here's what's going on at my house lately. On Saturday, my kids played with some friends who had the old Muppet Show on DVD. They came home and begged me to find this particular sketch on YouTube. We've been singing it ever since. Watch it, but be warned, you will not be able to get the song out of your head. It is now my ringtone.