All I Want for Christmas

I want to start out this post by giving a little shout-out to my nephew, Tyler Swan, whose high school football team will be playing for the Utah 5A State Football Championship next week. Go Diggers! (Yes, the students at Jordan High are known as The Beetdiggers, which, I know, sounds like a school Dwight Schrute would attend).

With the NFL in full swing and high school football the big talk in our family these days, I've already decided on what I want for Christmas this year.

Can you guess what it is?

No, it's not season tickets.

And it's not a jersey representing my favorite team.

It's not even a football autographed by my favorite player.

I want...

...and I promise this is good...

a yellow penalty flag!

You've all seen it. Somebody grabs somebody else's face mask and the referee blows the whistle and tosses a yellow penalty flag onto the field. All the players stop and the ref tells them what they did wrong, then penalizes the offending team with loss of yards.

Can you imagine the real-world applications for my very own yellow penalty flag? I mean, how perfect is that? When my kids come in from school and leave a trail of backpacks, shoes, coats, papers, and legos from the door to the kitchen, I can toss my flag and yell, "Penalty! Cluttering! Loss of dessert!"

What about when someone cuts me off in traffic? "Penalty! False start! Loss of 3 car lengths!"

And I'm all about maintaining my personal space. "Penalty! Personal Foul! 10 yards!" 

Oh, I'm getting giddy with anticipation, just thinking about all the uses for my yellow penalty flag. There is no arguing with a yellow penalty flag. You MUST obey the yellow penalty flag.

There is no stopping me with a yellow penalty flag.

I see no flaws in this plan.