Murphy Christmas

A Brief Family History:

Historically, we tend to have bad luck when it comes to Christmas vacation. That bad luck typically comes in the form of illness. There was the time that one kid had croup, another kid had pneumonia, and the parents both had the flu. At the same time. We've driven in blizzards, had Christmas trees that refused to remain upright, and even remembered the presents only after the four-hour road trip to Grandma's house. Chances are, if my husband schedules the time off for Christmas, something would go wrong.

This year, we were bound and determined to make it a memorable one. Hubby scheduled the time off months ago. We schemed and plotted and planned to surprise our kids with a trip to Disneyland. We had our hotel. We had our road trip snacks, movies, and games. I secretly packed their clothes. We planned to leave Tuesday afternoon. And then came the Pineapple Express. I'm sure you've heard about it. Southern California is drenched, to put it mildly. Southern Utah is lined with sandbags. Looking at satellite imagery, the storm was directly over the exact route we were going to take. In addition to that, we are buried under SEVERAL feet of snow. There was no way we could safely take our kids on what under the best conditions, would be a 13-hour road trip.

HOWEVER, being the cheerful optimists that we are, we quickly came up with Plan B. We booked a hotel room in downtown Salt Lake City for tonight, where we could swim, eat at a fancy-schmancy restaurant, and take in the beautiful Christmas sights. Yesterday, we even managed to sneak in a trip to Santa's workshop, where we found some pretty awesome Christmas presents. You see, Disneyland WAS THE PRESENT, so we had nothing but a few stocking stuffers. Upon returning from our stealthy shopping spree, we walked into a freezing cold house. The Pineapple Express had struck again, this time by taking out both our furnaces. AT THE SAME TIME. So I called a guy, who said it was happening all over the valley and said he'd never seen anything like it. He was currently working on three houses in Park City. At the same time. He said he would try to get to us sometime during the evening, but if not, he would come first thing in the morning. He's here now. And I'm typing this, at the same time. Fortunately we had a warm place to sleep last night, in the form of my in-laws' vacation home, which is conveniently located 5 minutes away.

Unfortunately, this brings me to the next wrench in the Christmas gears: sickness. Currently, it seems that everything on my inside wants to be on my outside. So the hotel is canceled. The hoity-toity dinner is not an option. City sidewalks and silver bells? I think not.

I tell you this not for sympathy; but for reference. Sometime next summer, when I start dreaming of Christmas Future, and those dang sugar plums start to dance, please, please remind me about this very moment.