Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Nanny Wanted

I have a friend who is a popular and well-respected author. On several occasions he has told me I have both the talent and the tenacity to get published. I love it when popular and well-respected authors tell me things like that.

My tenacity sent me back to school this summer. Self Publishing School, that is. Yeah. Who would have ever thought I'd be tenacious enough to publish my stuff on my terms? That's for another post, though.

Anyway, as you might guess, part of Self Publishing School was to write a book. So for the past couple of months I have been 100% completely engrossed in writing this book (which I'll talk about in another post). It has taken over my entire life and become the answer to every question.

Where have you been? I haven't seen you in a while.
I'm writing a book.

What's new?
I'm writing a book.

Why isn't there any food in this house?
I'm writing a book.

Why don't you ever call me?
I'm writing a book.

What's that smell?
I'm writing a book.

When is the last time you used a hairbrush?
I'm. Writing. A. Book.

You get the picture.

I was talking to a fellow classmate on the phone this morning. She is writing a book in the middle of moving to a new house. I can't even imagine. During our conversation, it dawned on me that I could really use a nanny - not for my kids - but for myself. Is there even such a thing? Adult nannies?

Here is the ad:

Wanted: one live-in nanny to look after grown woman who is at least 26 years old. Must be willing to cook, clean, shop, and remind approximate 26-year-old woman to eat, shower, get dressed, and to wear her glasses when staring at computer for hours on end. Must encourage her to actually follow the schedule in her planner and to be social. Attending writing conferences not considered a social activity. Daily walks are required. Trays of delicious food delivered hourly without asking is preferable. Must see to it that Peanut M&Ms are always on hand. Guacamole skills are a plus. Send resume to I'mwriting@book.

And just in case you didn't believe me about the glasses...


  1. When you find this person please let me know, maybe they will have a friend willing to do the same for me :)

    Sean Sumner

  2. Ha! Fun! I'm totally with you. My family will love it when I come out of the book-writing-cave :) Hugs from SPS

  3. I. Love.This.

    And I can't wait to read your book.

  4. So you need a Queen Latifah (stranger than fiction)!

  5. So you need a Queen Latifah (stranger than fiction)!